In all of the attention to forgiveness this week, it seems appropriate to mention the concept of forgiving ourselves. Why? Well, because it’s often harder than forgiving others, making it an incredibly a messy concept. I say that because I see people who use the inability to forgive themselves as a reason not to move on from their past. It’s as if when we fail to forgive ourselves, we’ve a free ticket to stay right there in the comfortable mess we’ve made of our lives. There’s no challenging change to make. No habits to kick. No reconciliation requiring humility. Self-forgiveness says that we have the authority to choose if our sins are forgivable or not. As I said, messy.
Buit the thing is, the concept of self-forgiveness is not mentioned in the Bible. Trust me, I’ve looked. Forgive others, yes definitely, and often. Ask for forgiveness? Yes, frequently. The concept of God’s forgiveness is a major theological foundation of our faith. But it does not say that we must forgive ourselves. The idea of self-forgiveness in NOT in the Bible. It discusses both guilt and forgiveness, but never once mentions forgiving ourselves. We’re called to forgive others and seek their forgiveness. We’re called to ask for forgiveness from God. But we’re never told we need to forgive ourselves—and it’s not because the command was forgotten.
The singular truth is that the work of forgiveness has already been done, and not by us. It’s God’s forgiveness that is eagerly given the moment we ask. If we truly believe that God has forgiven us, why must we continue to wallow in our own inability to forgive ourselves? If God can forgive us, why can’t we forgive ourselves? Why do we hold on to shame regret, guilt? Shouldn’t God’s forgiveness be enough? Yes. Yes, it should, but unfortunately, I have no answer to the question of why people feel the need to hold on to guilt, regret and remorse. Is this the Enemy’s doing? Possibly. Probably. Ultimately, we have to remain focused on the truth—that Jesus paid the full price for all our sins on the cross and rose again. This is where trusting in God and in the sufficiency of Christ’s sacrifice come in. If we’ve confessed your sins to God, to those we’ve hurt, and have repented, that’s all we need to do. Remember that we weren’t saved by our own merit, but by grace. Therefore, any basis for feeling shame or guilt has been removed. I think this is why grace is so amazing and such a generous gift from God.